No more impatient cats paws on my face mornings,
serenades with strawberries and Mozart by a cellist boyfriend
or standing in the cold waiting for the train to work on frigid winter mornings.
Memories ebb and flow like crazy
Belly laughs at Annie’s loud fart in Biology class.
“Coming out” to my Mother,
or dinner in the Eiffel Tower.
Faces of my life flash fast
Professor and bodybuilder Frank murdered by a tenant.
Dear Debbie; the love I could never have,
or David, who I loved and lost.
There are so many unwrapped packages-
I never finished that painting for Peggy,
or patched up the tiff with Diana,
and I never visited Machu Pichu.
But there is also no more chemo
no more radiation
no more enduring “ It’ll all be O.K.” by clueless friends
I don’t have to worry about “stuff “ at all anymore.
So many seasons and adventures now packed up away in the ether
a life so full of joy and sadness: true friends and lovers,
grand wines, great food, moving music;
reading , writing and “rithmatic.”
I know I have heard my last clock chimes
I hear no angel’s harps
there is no bright light
my thoughts and feeling all just blissfully fade away.
“Will I dream?,”HAL said.
It is upon me now.
Breathe out one last time,
Until ..
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Sir Edward Elger (1857-1934), English Composer- was so vain he actually posed for a staged "deathbed" photo well before his actual death.
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