So much history over so many
years. It all seems to fast forward, packing every second with images, sounds, and
impressions of this lady who was a part of most of my adult life. Of course, I
met Judi at Mr Travel . On her arrival,
I was immediately made aware in whispered tones ; “That’s the relative,” a
reference she grew loathe to in her years on the job. We were immediate
friends. I was introduced to Judi’s
family early on with invites to her basement apartment. I became acquainted with her daughter
Michelle, the light and love of Judi’s entire life, when she was still a very
young lady. Those two were even more
inseparable as Judi became a single parent.
I remember Judi in her mammoth Buick Electra,
vinyl roof flapping as she drove on the Outer Drive. I swear Judy handled that behemoth of an
automobile like it was a golf cart. She could squeeze that car into parking
spaces no one else would ever consider.
Judi ruled the road like she with did her life. She had unwavering
conviction and purpose until the very end.
Judi and I had special gifts we gave
each other for years. On our respective birthdays Judi would make me her
special banana cake (mine was with nuts- unlike Jeff’s) with chocolate frosting so rich it was (as
Judi would say. ) “to die for;” and I would make her my crab and cheese-
stuffed mushrooms. One year we went to
Greece on a office trip. It was my birthday. Judi carried a banana cake all the
way on the plane and through customs to the hotel until later, when we
celebrated in a little tavern in the Plaka of Athens with Roditys and banana
cake.
At work we would laugh together as
Judi, her deep voiced “Julie Jones” work persona forever being mistaken for a man on the phone,
as often as mine was for being a woman.
Through all the years working so close, Judi became like a big sister. And like siblings, we had battles. Both were so stubborn we sometimes held hissy
fits that lasted way too long, but the love was always there to overcome and
we’d eventually reach out to one another and cry; and with tearful reunion, move to our next
chapter.
I’ll never forget how Judi looked
at daughter Michelle’s wedding. Her blue gown was resplendent and Judi actually
glowed. I mean she actually radiated. It was to become one of the highlights of her
life. I found that mentioning this in front of her for years would bring a
broad smile, as she relived that wonderful day. Judi had a bond with Michelle
stronger than any other mother and daughter I ever saw.
That bond was to be tested later
as Michelle suffered a misfortune that she never recovered from. I saw Judy’s intractable strength as she sat
bedside, attending to her daughter. It was a devastating time for her. I was honored that Judi chose me to eulogize
Michelle . That honor again visits me
today.
I want to remember my dear friend
as one who marked so many lives with her sharp wit and earthy outlook. Nothing
much fazed Judi outwardly. I want to
remember Thanksgiving up at Sid’s Wisconsin home with Judi; and Barbara and
Gloria and Samuel… and of course, Sid.
I want to remember a drunken Judi dancing on my feet at a co-workers wedding. I want to remember
Judi schlepping the luggage for 16 people in a station wagon driving from
Sacramento’s River raft location to Reno on an agency trip. I will remember Judi stopping a drunken me from going off with
some Arab family upon arriving in London.
I want to remember Judi, Mona,
Ellen and I buying out the entire refreshment cart on a train from Milan to
Monte Carlo, and then barricading ourselves in our compartment refusing to
share.
These are the things that wove the
tapestry of our rich history together. We were integral to the Mr Travel family
. I was granted an inside view in the
many invitations to Holidays. Bar and Bat Mitzvah’s, Yom Kippur’s ,and weddings. Judi was my guide to Jewish customs . She was
unique. If you were a friend to Judi,
you were a friend for life. Friends like
Meryl , Flo, and Mona were her
treasures. They , and an expanded circle,
along with family, were the purpose and reason for Judi’s life. And a full life she has led.
Months ago in one of our regular
conversations, Judi , on a particularly dark day, mentioned to me she wanted to
go be with Michelle. I became angry, telling her that was selfish. I said, “Judi, you always have that option, but who do you think you are
to leave all of us who are not ready to be without you? How could you do that
to us?”
Now, Judi was a master of Jewish
guilt, but she recognized the truth in that. I think that was the only time she
ever shrunk from my words and agreed to my logic . I know because the fight she put up in the
next six months was stalwart, with the conviction of and strength of a heathy
Judi. She was wasting inside with all
that was thrown at her , but from
outside, she presented as strong. Judi was so proud of that quality. In those many honest and serious talks we had
toward the end, Judi only wept twice, even then only briefly. In our last conversation Judi and I talked of
what plans she could make for Hospice.
She still had options. But she told me she was very tired. I knew she was grasping for respite.
That resolute woman .That woman
of substance. A friend in my heart forever that I now envision being reunited
with her greatest love; her daughter Michelle.
There is much they have to talk about .
Today, I will think of all those years Judi Cogan has
been in my life- an integral part of my time on this planet. Now that she has left us, I will exhale
relief knowing that she has been released, leaving us to remember her as
someone very special .
My tears are temporary , Judi,
but your memory is forever.
