Coming Back
I’m sooo lazy. I want to have people wait on me hand and
foot. I want to be coddled. I want to go
where and when I want. When I travel, it has to be first class, with my own
lounge, including regular tidbits to keep hunger from intruding on my journey.
I want to avoid inclement
weather, always have temperature modified to my comfort, and be furnished
comfortable places to recline; places
that are soft and supple. Only the finest pillows and throws.
You may love me, but don’t expect me to love you back. Some days I may deign to lavish my attention
on you. Others, I’ll disown and avoid
you, no matter how pleading you become.
I want my own chef to prepare my meals
and present them at appointed time every day. I adore fish and wish my diet to
have plentiful portions of it. If you are not listening to me, you may find I
am very quick in rejecting your ill advised meal. Perhaps a bit of warm milk at bedtime could
ameliorate your transgressions.
I can think of no better way to
spend my days than lying around, thinking pensive thoughts, basking in the
sun. I will not entertain your chatter
and may feign sleep rather than listen.
Do not misconstrue my
independence as a need for company, providing
a companion. I detest dogs and refuse to share my domicile with any. It’s ME and you for better or worse, and I’ll
decide which is which.
You may amuse me at my leisure. I
love skittering things and motion. Play delights me. Just don’t try to drag it
on. I do have a limit to my indulgences.
Yes, I’m coming back as a
cat. An old lady’s cat. And I’ll take care of my own hygiene.
No bathing, thank you very much !
- 2012 Jerry Wendt 310 words
This was an exercise on writing on what you would come back as in another life... and do it in 300 words
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