Bah Humbug
Stuck up in a Tree
It’s same-o
same-o. Hurry up and wait. My family
sits around all year languishing until December when the phone is ringing off
the hook. Everyone wants us. Our booking
agent who normally calls with a bar mitzvah or an Italian wedding about twice a
month has multiple gigs now every single day. Don’t get me wrong, the money is
good enough to see us thru 9 months, but
does everybody have to be so involved with just this holiday thing ? We are just as meaningful any other time of
the year; but no, we work our heads off for 12 days and then sit around doing
practically nothing after.
One would
think that after all these years conditions would be better, or they would engineer
some updating. But, nothing ever changes.
I mean it gets boring sitting in a solitary cell with only a plant for a
long period of time. Especially if
you’re called to start the gig off. It isn’t so bad if schedule placement has
you working near the end of run, although then the place is really crowded and
noisy. While the union would disavow my sqawk ,
I also think some of the other
seasonal performers have somewhat of a hygiene problem. I mean certain ladies smell rather sour, and I’m
positive some of those dancers get a little rank by the 4th or 5th
performance, so you have to trade off.
Do you want to have the run of play and get top dollar, or just take a day here
and there and keep your sanity, making do with less cash? I myself have been doing this so long, I can
just imagine myself away from the confinement and think of just running through
lush foliage and enjoying freedom in going when and where I wish. They forget a caged bird never sings; not
that anyone would notice with all the other racket going on.
Another
gripe is that we not only have to put up with performing in a confining space,
but we must endure the lack of decent food.
With all the bounty available this time of year, why does the service
put out all this damn fruit? I
absolutely abhor pears. Like eating
sweet sand. Not to mention they are out of season now so they cost a bundle; even
in bulk. I think they have stock in
“Harry and David.” I ask
you, couldn’t people who can afford to give fancy gold rings be able to afford
giving us better diet and living wage ?
I’m honestly telling you. I hate Christmas almost as much as I hate
pears. And I think the whole Partridge
family stands behind me on this. Pass along the word; If you are all gaga over
some true love and have to go with stupid tradition, please at least tell the
damn drummers to lay off once and awhile. How’s a bird to get a decent nights
rest?
-Jerry Wendt 495 words
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